


gotta hold of my possessive mind

by spilborghs (carebearstare)



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Colorado Rockies, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 12:10:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15291240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carebearstare/pseuds/spilborghs
Summary: He’s not a jealous person. Well, he tries not to be a jealous person. But everyone has their moments.





	gotta hold of my possessive mind

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, this quote started it: "He’s a special kid, and I’m so proud of the way he’s playing. I’m always pushing him. I’m right next to him, making sure he doesn’t get comfortable, because he can be even better.”
> 
> And then onakissgodknows told me to write it after I described it for one minute. So, here it is. 
> 
> Unbeta'd and written in a short amount of time. If you found your name googling, click back.

_“He’s a special kid, and I’m so proud of the way he’s playing. I’m always pushing him. I’m right next to him, making sure he doesn’t get comfortable, because he can be even better.”_

Nolan had been sitting at his locker, his back to the reporters, unwinding from the game when he hears the quote. He didn’t hear the question that was asked, wasn’t paying attention, but as soon as he hears the voice, he knows. Knows exactly what was asked, who it’s about, and. Takes a deep breath before getting up and heading towards the showers, hoping no one stops him.

He’s not a jealous person. Well, he _tries_ not to be a jealous person. But everyone has their moments. He had gotten so much better from when he was a rookie, but there are times when it still flares up.

Nolan turns on the water, waiting for it to warm up before he strips off the rest of his uniform and gets in. Stands under the water for a moment, hoping it’ll calm him down. All it does is make his mind wander.

 _He’s a special kid._ That’s what Carlos had said. It’s not the first time he’s made a comment about Trevor. Hell, he’s always been a mentor of sorts for him. It hadn’t bothered him at first. Carlos was just doing what Troy had done for him. Taken him under his wing, gave him advice, helped him focus and get better. That’s how it goes. But a part of him remembers the other side of it. All of the hugs, the little touches. All of the times he sat by him in the dugout, threw an arm around him. Making sure to be one of the first to greet him after a home run. All of the jokes…

He huffs, pushing the thoughts away and tries to focus on actually showering. Washes his hair, gets soap onto a washcloth and starts to clean up.

_I’m right next to him…_

Carlos still does all those things. Presses a hand to Trevor’s stomach just because. Sits by him during batting practice. Pulls him aside for private conversations. And Trevor still looks at Carlos like he’s a star-struck rookie. He doesn’t hate Trevor. _He doesn’t._ He’s his friend too. But he wishes…

He hisses involuntarily, taking a moment to realize that he’s scrubbing his skin raw. _Fuck._ Takes a deep breath and steps out of the stream of water for a moment, hoping it’ll help. Tests it before getting back under it, wanting to get the shower over with. It’s not helping. Maybe a good night of sleep will, but - he never sleeps well. Especially when his mind is like this.

He usually sleeps over at Carlos’ place, but he’s not sure he wants to tonight. He hasn’t even talked to him since they briefly exchanged congratulatory words on the field. Hell, hadn’t really talked to him all game. Doesn’t even know if he’s noticed. He’d been chatting with Trevor when the reporter came to him too, that much he knows.

Nolan can feel himself getting worked up, and anymore, he just wants to leave and be alone. So he shuts off the water, dries off as quickly as he can, gets his standard wear on before shoving his things into his bag. He gets a few steps towards the door when he feels an arm sling around him, pulling him close. He knows who it is, knows that touch well. It’s an instant comfort, even if the thing Nolan’s upset about is him.

Carlos doesn’t seem to notice anything different, smiling at him, voice light but cheerful when he talks. Nolan puts on a face, meets his smile, pretends that everything’s fine. He knows that a lot of it is on him, that he’s jealous, overreacting. But. He remembers when Carlos did all of those things for him too. Made him feel special, made him feel protected from the other veterans. Remembers how they got closer until it became something more... 

He knows that Carlos cares about him. It’s evident when they’re together, when he’s holding him and talking to him like this. Carlos even gets him to come over again that night, promising his favorite breakfast in the morning after Nolan told him that he was just tired and a little restless after the game. He knows that Carlos loves him. 

But, sometimes.

_He’s a special kid._

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr.](https://spilborghs.tumblr.com/)


End file.
